What exactly does it take to become Batman?

A whole bunch of bullshit that’s what! Really though, what can you expect when you’re basing your life choices to better yourself off of a fictional character? I’m going to share with you a page from “The Batman Files” written, (…compiled, possibly) by Matthew Manning. I recommend picking up a copy. It’s exactly what it sounds like, files on The Batman. A bit of a compendium of sorts. This “comic” reads as if it were Batman’s private journal that would allow someone to carry on the mantle of Batman just in case. If you never thought that possible, I recommend two story arcs. Knightfall, *SPOILERS AHEAD!!!* where Bane takes out Batman and Azreal steps in, or you can also check out some stories with Hugo Strange. Here’s a link to The Batman Files.

So, what exactly does it take to become Batman. Feast your eyes on the impossible.


Now, I need you to go back and really take a look at this workout. I’m pretty sure anyone that did this (if they were able to) for more than three weeks would probably be looking at some serious central nervous system fatigue.

  • Sunday starts of easy enough, 30 minutes of jogging and 30 minutes of meditation. I can for sure squeeze that in on any Sunday morning.
    • Percent at which I am Batman?
      • 100%
  • Oh man…a Sunday evening workout. I already went jogging and mediated though. Well, let’s be Batman.
    • Metabolic conditioning…
      • Clean and jerk. Can’t do that.
      • 1/4 mile run? Hard pass.
      • 21 kettlebell swings. Well I can do them in theory.
      • 12 pullups. Not.even.one.
    • 30 minutes of flexibility training. My hammies feel tight!
    • 30 minutes of sparring. I guess I’ll have to learn how to fight first. So this is out of the question.
      • Percent at which I am Batman?
        • 50%

As you can tell, it’s theoretically only the first day and I’m already down to 50%. I’m not even going to get started on the madness that is Monday evening’s workout.

So, it will more than suffice to say, I’m no Batman. After reading this page though, all I could think of was “why not set some goals for myself?” If someone were to find my journal and found notes and directions on how to pick up the Mantle of Hozay, and continue my legacy, how would that journal read? What are my Batman Files? What could I pass on to someone?

Batman isn’t real, but the desire he brings me to be better is. I don’t think I’ll ever run 20 miles at a 4:50 pace and then say to myself “I need to lower that by half a minute” (Wednesday’s “off day”). But why not use that as the framework to be more like Batman? Why not use that as something to aim for, something to keep me working? You know what? I will.

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